Initiation Cycle: Convert or Die

Welcome to the first official post on my new blog: The Life & Times of a Pastor's Husband. I realize that I have written a couple of pieces already that should be here, but since coming up with a name this is the first! Before we get too far into this let's provide some ground rules, some expectations, and some basic information so we're all on the same page:

1. I expect this process to be cathartic for me.
2. I expect this process to be useful for one person in the world.
3. I expect this process to turn into something more profound than a blog.
4. I want people to participate: comment, share, e-mail, whatever.
5. I want people to anticipate posts.
6. I want people to learn about what it could mean to be a pastor's husband.
7. As of this post I am not officially a pastor's husband, but my wife is in the process (more info coming) of making it.
8. There will be a new post for each new experience that I have in this process.
9. My goal is to write a new post each week, but they may not be relevant to this process, so you might have to check my other Blog (G-Bull Ministries) for more writings.

Now, I realize that this isn't really a great introduction, but it is what it is. The title of the blog kind of says it all, this is about my journey toward becoming and being an active husband of a pastor. However, let's just get into this and see where we end up... so here comes something!

Like I stated above, I'm not officially a pastor's husband yet, but we're working on it. I'm half way there, in that I am married to a woman who is in the process of receiving her first call. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the inner workings of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), this just means she's searching for and interviewing for jobs right now. Our hope is that within the next 2 months she has a position lined up at a church who wants her to be their pastor. So, until that point in time, I'm really just a pastoral candidate's husband, but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Nonetheless, we are both actively participating in the search for this job, because it means something to the both of us.

The process of finding her a job is where my mind has been lately--and lately as in the past 2 days. You see, we had a couple of interviews a couple weekends ago and had our hopes on one of the churches calling with good news. However, on Saturday morning we got a call with not so great news--they're continuing the interview process, which means she didn't snag the job. Now, normally this wouldn't be such a big deal: there are plenty of churches in the world; there are plenty of churches without pastors; and my wife is looking to be a pastor in just such a church. So, what's the big deal you're asking? Here's the big deal, it comes down to a few different social norms that stand in my way of becoming a pastor's husband (my lifelong dream):

1. The ELCA consists of a large governing body (bishops and whatnot), who mostly present a fairly liberal social standing
• The ELCA ordains women, so that they can be pastors in their churches
2.  The ELCA consists of a large worshiping body (people in the churches), who mostly present a fairly conservative social standing
• The ELCA may ordain women, but that doesn't mean the churches want a female pastor!
3. My wife was assigned to a region of the United States where there are more conservative thinkers than liberal thinkers.
4. My wife was assigned to a region of the United States where there are more churches looking for seasoned pastors than first time pastors.
5. The Greek Orthodox Church does not ordain women; they also require their spouses (if they are married) to covert to the faith or their ordination is nullified.

So, really, it's just the first four that we have working against us, but I was made aware of #5 the other day, which really got me thinking about things.

Does it matter if I do not share the same religious views as my wife?
Does it matter if your pastor is a woman?
How can I support my wife in this journey of hers?
Do I need to covert to her theological system in order to truly support her endeavors?
Am I supposed to be a pastor?
Should I go to seminary?
When can I look for a job?

All of these things and more have been circulating through my grey matter for the past couple of days, and unfortunately there are no easy answers for us. It is up to the churches to call their pastor, and if they don't want a female pastor, my wife is out of the game, which is the hardest part for us right now. We have talked and talked and talked about possibilities; she was supposed to contact her bosses today to get some insight into their thinking; we have another interview set-up this weekend; but the question remains: where is her job?

I can't find a job until she gets her job, because there is no point in acquiring a teaching position if I'm just going to end up in a different city, state or otherwise. Plus, there is nothing I can really do for her. I can be supportive; I'm her biggest cheerleader, because her getting a job means I can find a job to live out my vocation as well. However, beyond that there isn't anything I can do, which is really the hardest part for me. I sit back and watch as she walks into the rooms for the interviews--I'm just there for moral support and to feel out the community, but it's ultimately between her, the interview committees and God. We have faith enough to believe God, when it is proclaimed that there is a place and time for all things. There is a job for her out there, but when will it be revealed? When can she sign on the dotted line? When can I get my dream job? Is it because I'm not Lutheran?

My biggest fear is that I've done something to sabotage her interviews so far (Yes, there have only been 2). It shouldn't matter, just like all other manners of questioning, but with the way the world is today there is no way to tell how much bearing people put on the spouse. My facial hair, my tattoos, my humor, my job, my glasses? Is there something more I should have done in order to fully support her in the interview that went wrong, or is it truly a god thing?

Deep down I want to believe that it's just a god thing, but part of me is still skeptical. Could it be a karma thing? I don't know.

Maybe I should sell my soul to the Lutheran god in order to appease his sensibilities; that way we can all be on the same team and get jobs!

Sincerely,
A [Future] Pastor's Husband