Thursday Devotion: Matthew 2:13-23

A reading from Matthew, the second chapter:

13 Now after they had left, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him." 14 Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, 15 and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet, "Out of Egypt I have called my son." 16 When Herod saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, he was infuriated, and he sent and killed all the children in and around Bethlehem who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had learned from the wise men. 17 Then was fulfilled what had been spoken through the prophet Jeremiah: 18 "A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more." 19 When Herod died, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, 20 "Get up, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who were seeking the child's life are dead." 21 Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother, and went to the land of Israel. 22 But when he heard that Archelaus was ruling over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there. And after being warned in a dream, he went away to the district of Galilee. 23 There he made his home in a town called Nazareth, so that what had been spoken through the prophets might be fulfilled, "He will be called a Nazorean."

 ***

It's time.

It's time.

It's the time when the savior of the world is thrown into the world. Not as a warrior king. Not as a mighty colossus of a man. Not as anything other than a human baby. The savior of the world was dropped into a kingdom ruled by man, and his family had to follow the lead of the LORD in order to preserve his life. The faith of his earthly father allowed Jesus to live in the world, to experience the world, to see what the world was going through at this time. This was over 2000 years ago. Sadly, the world hasn't changed that much since the time of Jesus. So, the question becomes what are we doing about it?

Jesus came so that we might live.

Jesus died so that we may be redeemed.

Jesus rose again so that we may know eternal life.

So what are you doing about it? What are you doing with it? What are you called to do?

Advent was the time of longing anticipation, but now it's time for action. Mary and Joseph had to act in order to ensure the life of their son against the powers and principalities of that time. This allowed Jesus to grow and develop into the man who would eventually die and rise again for the very world that he was brought into. We are then charged with carrying that cross out into the world and showing the love and affection that Jesus showed us through his sacrifice--which was started by his earthly parents. It all started with a call from God.

Do you hear it?

Have you experienced it?

Did you take that first step?

Let us pray:

Most gracious heavenly father. We thank-you for the time and effort that you have poured into creating us in your image so that we may be your hands and feet on this earth. We also thank you for the gift of your son, so that we may be redeemed in your sight until the time we when are presented with the eternal gift of life you so graciously provide for us. However, in the mean time we pray that you prepare us, prompt us and push us to do the work that you have called us to do. Through our friends, families and places of business we can be a witness to your love and affection that you have poured out since the beginning of creation. We ask this in the powerful name of your only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Toe the Line // Tow the Cross

Good evening.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Holidays.

Merry New Year (almost).

Wow.

It's been a while since we met up, and for this I apologize. It is my fault, but none of you said anything about my absence so I don't feel that bad. I took a break during/following my trip to Philadelphia so that I could focus on what I experienced, and just be lazy for a minute. I did really well over the past period of time in writing 2 posts a week: a devotion and a reflection. So, I figured I deserved to take a break and just relax my mind a little bit. However, in the past few days/week I have started getting restless again, and so here I am taking back up the task of actively reflecting and keeping people appraised of what is going on in the life of this pastor's husband. Plus, I'm sure somebody is interested in a recap of what happened in Philadelphia and how the discernment process is going. So, there will be some of that as well. We'll see, but I'm hoping to keep this kind of short. Just a quick review, update and moving on to the next phase of life for me and my wife. So, let's get started so we can wrap it up sooner, rather than later:

Philadelphia.

So, we flew out to Philadelphia so I could check out the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia, which is one of the 2 ELCA schools that have a distance program, which was the big appeal. I can do work from home, be a part of a community, and still work on being a pastor's husband until the time I become something else. I sat in on 3 different classes, which was a good experienced. Granted, it was the last days of class for the semester which provided an interesting view of the class. I got to hear the takeaways and the challenges that each student faced as they moved through the courses, as well as their appreciation for what they went through. Additionally, there was such a diverse group of people in each class in terms of age, race, and theological discipline. A majority of the students were something other than Lutheran, which was pretty awesome. To hear the different perspectives be acknowledged, supported and honored was really refreshing and something I feel should be happening in the wider church on the regular.

I also had the opportunity to talk to a couple of professors and admissions staff about prospects, interests and thoughts that I've had about the entire process. They were all super supportive and seemed to understand the apprehensions as well as the "special needs" that I have to consider before officially entering the process (married to a first call pastor who just started working). Also in talking with these people they made it seem like their school would be a good fit for me and my position in life. However, that is also their job as admission people--convince people that their school is the greatest. Beyond the typical school pride, there was also programmatic opportunities that they are developing and offer that are appealing as well. So, they left me with a lot of things to consider, a lot of things to ponder, and other places to visit. I still have a long ways to go before I can officially say that I'm doing anything different with my life. However, I have made a step in a direction, even though I haven't made any decisions yet. There are other schools to visit, more conversations to have, and work to be done before I am ready to commit to anything in particular.

In other news, there is a lot of cool history to see, touch, smell and be a part of in Philadelphia. We manged to do a good deal of sight seeing: Liberty Bell, excavation site of George Washington's original house, the room where the Declaration of Independence and Constitution were written and signed, the U.S. Mint, and Reading Market. All accessed in the Center City (Downtown) via a regional train. We trained into the Center City, walked around, saw a bunch of stuff, and trained back. It was windy, chilly and kind of cool to see all of the history stuff. Granted my wife got more enjoyment out of it than I did, but nonetheless it was the birthplace of America, and that has to mean something regardless of how interested one is in history.

***

Toe the Line.

In every stage of life we have lines to walk. More often than not these lines are tightly strung between two opposing views, ideas or thoughts that we have on a regular basis. It's never fun, nor is it ever easy. Often times I feel like we have to be really careful where we step so as to not offend the gentler sensibilities of those around us--especially if they are our supporters. Over the past few weeks I have been looking down at my feet a lot in order to better understand what my lines are bordered by. On either side there are forces, powers and positions that seem to be opposites and they're pulling at me with great vigor and interest in my future.

I want to maintain the line between.
I want to operate within the both/and.
I want to progress in the middle zones.
I want to do what I want.

This is all very vague because I haven't clearly delineated just what any of this means. Some of it is fairly clear cut. On one hand there are professional leanings. Then there are theological leanings. Then we have the familial bonds. Then we have the social bonds. Then we have the artistic sectors. Then we have... then we have... then we have... in every area of my life there seems to be an either/or positioning. I know this isn't unique to me, my situation, or anything else. However, it has produced in me a sense of worry and angst that has begun to wear down my confidence in the process that I have set-up for myself. The active pursuit of God and the meaning behind my pull toward ministry is being pushed aside by all of these lines that need to be toed carefully. Even today I was made aware of another potential line for my toes to tread softly...

I was pulled aside before church today by an inquiring parishioner who was interested in our trip to Philadelphia. I explained much of what is listed above--the potential, the opportunities, the setting--to which their response was to explain to me that they have been thinking about my relationship with my wife and had a concern about the potential direction that I am taking my life in. Particularly as it concerned having one or two children in the future (which is their hope). They informed me since pastors work time and a half (60+ hours a week) that it can be really difficult to raise them properly if both parents are pastors. I mean, if I were a full time teacher instead of a pastor, I could still be putting in the same number of hours in a very rigid schedule. I wasn't really convinced that this was the most sage concern, but it nonetheless highlighted the line between professional choices and being a parent. There are so many questions, comments and concerns I have floating around in my head that I am ever grateful for my wife who's job it is to listen and stand by me and help me. I would have probably given up a long time ago had it not been for her and her support. It makes me think that there might be a god out there after all.

***

Tow the Cross.

There is an image throughout the world of Christian thought of one picking up their cross. The idea is that we all have our own cross and it is our responsibility to carry it.

It's your cross to bear.

It's my cross to bear.

It's our cross to bear.

It's a cross we all bear.

Sometimes it's just too heavy. More often than not I merely drag my cross behind me because my shoulders are too bruised to hold it up any longer. I lash it around my waist and trudge along with it dragging behind me. Each step it gets a little heavier, but at least it isn't resting my shoulders... in fact there are times where I forget it's there at all. Just pushing through the dirt. However, I have learned over the past few weeks that sometimes it's okay to let somebody take a little of the weight of our crosses. It isn't always our burden alone that we have to carry through the world. In fact there is that cheesy poem about the footprints in the sand. I'm not always convinced that it's Jesus who is always doing the carrying (there are times it feels like he has jumped on my back and I have to carry him around too), but the idea remains the same. There is help available if we will just get vulnerable and humble ourselves to the power of grace and the spirit of God.

Most of you know really know me, which is fine, however if you did you would say that I don't often ask for help. I don't often share deep, meaningful parts of my soul to people. It's not easy for me because I have become so good at locking away the pain and struggle that it doesn't often breech the surface. It wasn't until after my second visit to the spiritual director that I really started realizing things that I hadn't really dealt with; things that I haven't really let breathe; things that had been silently affecting the way I conducted my life on a daily basis. Now, I'm not about to go on a True Confessions rant, but I just wanted to share that sometimes it's better to let somebody help you bear the weight of your cross for a minute so you can let it out, let it go, deal with it however you need. It isn't good to hold things in forever, we have to deal with it otherwise it will dictate how our lives are lived out.

I will share one anecdote though, because it was a powerful moment between my wife and I that I feel should be shared, it goes something like this:

I was sitting on the couch, just the other night. The Christmas tree had been on  and we had just finished watching a movie (I believe it was Captain Fantastic... you should check it out). During the movie several thoughts had occurred to me and I made mention of this as we were just sitting in the living room. My wife then asked me what my thoughts were. I started off okay, merely attempting to tell her what had come to mind while watching the movie, which was something along the lines of how people cope with the loss of a loved one, and the fact that I don't. I have never really coped with loss, pain or struggle in dealing with the loss of anyone in my life. Plenty of relatives have passed, but the struggle for me is allowing it to be a real event--they really are gone, they're not coming back, even if I haven't seen them in years. I then attempted to rationalize the loss of my grandma away by saying that we knew it was coming, but it didn't quite make it out. I began to cry. I allowed myself to be the moment with the pain associated with the loss of my grandmother for the first time since it happened, which was just about a year ago. My cross became too heavy for me to even drag across the ground so my wife stepped in and helped me. She pulled on the rope as we walked together through the darkness of the pain. It was okay for me to let her help me. It was okay for me to feel the pain of that loss. It was okay...

I still haven't dealt with it completely, but I have started down a better path toward proper dealing. However, what wasn't okay in that moment was my wife trying to pull the pastor card, and I told her that. I didn't need to be my pastor in that place. I needed her to be my wife and friend. She quickly put the pastor card away and resumed the loving friend that I really needed. Following this particular moment, were a few more where I had expanded my sphere of hurt to other moments of loss and times of need--times that didn't turn out as well as this most recent one. I feel it is very important to reach out for help when we need it, but it's also so important to reach back when there is hand extending toward you--grab it, if only for a moment, because you never know how much good you will be able to do.

There is probably more to be said about the "pastor card," but I feel that is better left for another week's reflection.

***

In conclusion, I have a great network of support all around me. Some visible. Some less visible. Some imaginary. I thank-you, each and every one of you for all that you do. It has not gone unnoticed, I'm just bad at saying something. Again, I thank-you for everything said, unsaid, done, undone and everything in between.

As we leave the time of advent and move quickly through the time of Christmas (12 days to be precise), we are moving ever closer to the climax of the Jesus story. However, we always have work to do, and our daily quest for discernment is a portion of that work. The rest is what we are doing in the world: feeding, clothing, visiting, rescuing, helping, serving, making. It is time for me to start doing in the world as well as figuring out my life. As the next chapter unfolds before us, take note of what works, what doesn't work, and where you want your feet to be planted. Allow your toes to dip into many waters, it's okay not to settle.

Toe the line.

Tow the cross.

It's your life.

Live it for God!

Sincerely,

A Pastor's Husband

Thursday Devotion: Luke 2:1-20

A reading from Luke, the second chapter:

1 In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered. 2 This was the first registration and was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. 3 All went to their own towns to be registered. 4 Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. 5 He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

8 In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for see—I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: 11 to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger." 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, 14 "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!" 15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go now to Bethlehem and see this thing that has taken place, which the Lord has made known to us." 16 So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. 17 When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. 19 But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.

***

Here we are made privy to the moment when God becomes flesh; God enters our plane of existence. However, unlike the hopes, wishes and desires of the people who came before, God enters the world as a child who is at the bottom of the barrel. Born in a manger, at the back of an inn, with shepherds as the first visitors... sadly, it doesn't get much lower than that. However, that's what the world was provided. That's what we were given. That is our salvation from what could have been.

There is a song by a modern hip-hop artist known as Drake that proclaims, "I started at the bottom, now I'm here; started at the bottom now my whole crew here." However, Jesus can't stake such claims. Jesus started the bottom and decided that in order to save the world he needed to turn things on their head.

God entered the world as the least of these. The baby Jesus was brought into a world where there were great power struggles and a lot of inequalities that held people in their places, much lower than what they were worth. Even the visitors of the newly born messiah were the shepherds, which weren't much higher themselves. However, his rise to power was much greater than any Caesar or king could ever be. He rose to the heights of messiah by proclaiming the love of God for all people, especially those who were thrown aside by the "powers that be."

Jesus was born to love.

Jesus died to redeem.

Jesus rose again for all.

This is the beginning of a long story of the rise to love. Through the lowest of lows, the word and love of God was allowed to spread across all the nations and infiltrate the hearts of all of those that would hear it. According to the gospel of John, this love was for the entire world, which is why the decision was made to send the son. The gigantic web of interconnected love that cannot be defeated resides in all of us. However, we often forget this.

All throughout the gospels we are reminded of the beggars, the prostitutes, the adulterers, the tax collectors, the murderers, and the all-around dregs of society. These are the people that will always be with us, the people who see the glory of God much clearer than we might. It is these that Jesus calls to love and support in their times of need. The least of these is the ones we are called to serve... so what's stopping us?

Let the glory of the Lord rise among all people. During this season of Christmas and beyond.

Let us pray:

Most gracious God, we must first thank-you for providing us with the breath of life that sustains us to conduct your will in the world. However, we so often lose track of just what we're called to do. Guide us, protect us, and strengthen us so that we may better live out that call.Give us the means and the aptitude to reach out to those who need it, but allow us, also, to accept the help when it is provided in return. We walk humbly with you, our God, so that we may see the world as you would have it be. In the name of your only begotten son, Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Thursday Devotion: Matthew 1:18-25

A reading from Matthew, the 1st chapter:

18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23 "Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us." 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

***

The season of Advent has continued around us. The season of longing. The season of waiting. The season of anticipation. The season when our focus becomes worldly, and we lose sight of the spirit moving in our lives.

This is the time of the year when we lose focus on the "reason for the season." We become preoccupied with the gifts, the decorations, the festivities that are taking our focus away from the coming/return/birth of the savior of the world.

In the times of Joseph it merely took a messenger in a dream to convince him not to "dismiss" his girlfriend quietly. However, what does it take now? What does it take for us to recognize the spirit of God moving in/around/through us? Have we become so focused on the pomp and circumstance of the world that we have forgotten what it feels like to be dazzled by the spirit of God? Have we become so desensitized to the needs of our neighbor that we are no longer captivated by the plight of the other?

God's spirit continues to move around us. The spirit of love. The spirit of compassion. The spirit of loving forgiveness. Even during this season of longing anticipation, we are called to move by the spirit. Allow the spirit to create in us new hearts to better love. Allow the spirit to bear beautiful fruit to benefit the rest of the world.

Do you feel it?

Do you see it?

Do you experience it?

As the season of Advent turns into the time of Epiphany, we need to be on the lookout for the evidence of the spirit moving over the surface of our world. It could come in a flash or in a whisper on the wind. God is with us. God is with us. God is with us... do you feel it?

Amen.

Thursday Devotion: Matthew 3:1-12

A reading from Matthew the 3rd chapter:

1 In those days John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness of Judea, proclaiming, 2 "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near." 3 This is the one of whom the prophet Isaiah spoke when he said, "The voice of one crying out in the wilderness: "Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.' " 4 Now John wore clothing of camel's hair with a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey. 5 Then the people of Jerusalem and all Judea were going out to him, and all the region along the Jordan, 6 and they were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins. 7 But when he saw many Pharisees and Sadducees coming for baptism, he said to them, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8 Bear fruit worthy of repentance. 9 Do not presume to say to yourselves, "We have Abraham as our ancestor'; for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children to Abraham. 10 Even now the ax is lying at the root of the trees; every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 11 "I baptize you with water for repentance, but one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. 12 His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and will gather his wheat into the granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire."

***

 We have entered into the time of the church year we call Advent. This is the season of waiting, of anticipation, of realigning ourselves for the birth of a new age. What does this mean? Basically, it's the four weeks before Christmas. As a whole, we are waiting the coming of Jesus, the birth of the messiah to the virgin.

Are you ready?

Have you prepared?

What are you waiting for?

Like the reading above says, people were flocking to John the Baptist out in the wilderness to be baptized. They were preparing themselves for the coming of the Messiah. They were aligning their lives, repenting of their sins, and rectifying their lives to accommodate the message that was being spread... Jesus is coming.

Are you ready?

Have you prepared?

However, John does something crazy in the face of the religious leaders of his time, he yells at them and tells them that they may come and make fun of him but there is somebody greater coming. John may baptize with water, but the one who is coming will baptize with the fire of the holy spirit. They may try to rest on their morals and proclaim their genealogy back to Abraham, but God is bigger than all of our human securities and longings. God has the power to do such awesome things that we are unprepared to bare witness to.

Are you ready?

Jesus was coming to break down the walls that separated us from God. We had built ourselves fortresses to reside in; built our walls to protect us; towers to look down on the rest of the world from. As we peer down at the world and wonder why we are so disconnected, it should hit us that we have not truly begun to live.

As we await the spiritual revival of the messiah. As we ponder the meaning of the season--the birth of Jesus, who came to save us from the eternal separation that we are worth of. As we prepare our hearts and minds to renew these relationships with our savior and others. We should reach out in love to our neighbor. Remember the whole of the ministry that was begun when Jesus was born. It is not an isolated moment, but the bigness of God that was made flesh so that we might better understand the love that was for us. Love made flesh.

Let us pray: God of mercy and love. We thank-you for sending Jesus to become love incarnate at the end of this season. Without your loving grace we would be lost in the world of darkness that we have created around us. In this time of preparation and awaiting, we ask that you guide our hearts and thoughts to a better place. That we might find the courage and resolve to love those around us more than ever. This is the time of the year when hearts get heavy, souls become bare, and people feel left out. Allow us to be the light in their lives so that might be prepared to see the glory that you is return to their lives. We need you. We long to see your face. Be ever present in our hearts and souls. Amen.